Look, we’ve all done it. Told ourselves this time, I’m serious. Bought the planner. Lit a candle. Opened Canva. Maybe even made a vision board. And then… didn’t do the thing. Again. It’s not that you’re lazy. You actually care a lot. That’s half the problem. You keep making big promises to yourself because deep down, you really want to change something. Start something. Build something. Be someone. But when you break your own word enough times, it stings. And maybe not in a “wow I’m such a failure” dramatic movie way, but in a quiet, itchy, “ugh, I don’t even believe myself anymore” way.
The good news? Self-trust isn’t some magical, fixed trait. It’s something you build. Or in our case, rebuild. Slowly. Kindly. Realistically.
Here’s how I started doing it — after years of ghosting my own goals — and how you can too.
Table of Contents
1. Start by keeping one teeny promise
You don’t need to overhaul your whole personality. You don’t need a 90-day plan. You just need to do one thing you said you’d do — and not flake. Doesn’t have to be glamorous. Doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be done.
For years, I said I’d “start my blog.” And technically, I did. Once. In 2018. Wrote one post. Ghosted. Tried again in 2023. Wrote another post. Ghosted harder. It wasn’t until recently, April 2025 that I told myself, “Just write and hit publish, no pressure,” that I finally started showing up consistently. One promise. That’s where it begins. Not because it changes everything instantly — but because it reminds your brain: “Hey, we’re doing it now. For real.”
If you hear a voice within you say that you cannot paint, then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.
— Vincent Van Gogh
2. Stop outsourcing your life to ‘motivation’
Let me say it louder: Motivation is a scam.
Motivation will show up at 2AM when you’re in bed with dead phone battery. It’ll abandon you at 10AM when you actually need to do the thing. So don’t wait for it. Build a routine so low-maintenance that it feels silly not to do it. Like opening a doc and writing one messy paragraph. Or setting a 10-minute timer to design. Or talking to yourself like, “Let’s just get this out the way so we can binge something after.”
I spent years waiting to “feel ready.” Plot twist: I never did. The people doing stuff? They just started before they felt it. Wild.
3. Track the showing up, not the glow-up
Listen. Sometimes you do the thing and… nobody claps. No comments, no sales, no confetti. That’s when self-trust gets tested. Because the point isn’t just doing the thing — it’s sticking with it even when it’s not shiny.
You might post a video and get 3 views. You might launch a product and get 0 sales. You might write a blog and hear crickets. Still counts. Self-trust isn’t built by smashing results. It’s built by showing up on quiet Tuesdays when no one’s watching.
The more you believed in yourself, the more you could trust yourself. The more you trust yourself, the less you compare yourself to others.
— Roy T. Bennett
4. Forgive yourself, but don’t sugarcoat it
Here’s the truth: you didn’t do what you said you’d do. It’s okay to admit that. This isn’t about beating yourself up. It’s about being honest. “I didn’t follow through. But I’m still here. And I’m trying again.”
There’s a weird power in saying that. You stop running from it. You face the mess. You clean it up. Self-forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending it didn’t happen. It means not letting it define you forever.
5. Make your way make sense for you
You are not everyone else. You’re not that girl on TikTok with the color-coded calendar and a smoothie named after each goal. You’re you. That means your system? It has to fit your actual life. Not your fantasy “one-day” life. Not your Pinterest board. Now.
If you’re juggling work, burnout, perfectionism, and the crushing weight of your own ambition — maybe your way is slower. Simpler. Scrappier. And that’s okay. The goal is to move. Not to win productivity points.
6. Final thoughts (and a small nudge)
You’ve probably started over before. But this time, don’t start from scratch. Start from experience.
From everything you’ve learned. From everything that didn’t work. From every promise you almost kept. And every small one you will keep now.
Trust isn’t a lightning bolt moment. It’s a quiet rebuild. Brick by brick. Day by day. One tiny promise at a time.
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Have you ever ghosted your own dreams? What promise are you keeping to yourself this week? Drop it in the comments — I’d love to hear how it’s going.
