After graduating with big dreams (and a head full of code), I thought life would be a smooth ride straight into a fancy software engineering job. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.
Instead, I found myself stuck in this weird “what now?” zone — kinda like waiting for your favorite series to drop the next season but it keeps getting delayed. Honestly, I’m not a software engineer anymore (at least, not in the traditional sense). These days, I’m a … well, creator, a wannabe creative soul, and sometimes I catch myself wondering if I should just dust off those coding skills. But hey, that’s the beauty of life — it rarely sticks to the script we write for it.
Table of Contents
1. Understanding the In-Between Phase – Not who you were, not yet who you’ll be
You know that weird place where you’re not quite who you were, but also not quite who you want to be? That’s the “in-between” phase — and yes, it feels like being stuck in traffic on a Monday morning. For me, it was ditching the “software engineer” label I thought I’d wear forever, and suddenly finding myself trying on new hats — house sitter, web designer, and now blogger. Spoiler: it’s confusing, a little scary, but also kinda where the magic starts.
Try this:
Start journaling or talking to someone you trust about how this phase feels. Naming your feelings helps you understand them better. Embrace the uncertainty as a signal you’re growing — it’s not a dead end, just a detour
2. Embracing the Uncertainty – The awkward but necessary middle
Uncertainty is like that awkward first date — you don’t really know what’s coming, and you’re not sure if you should be excited or want to run for the hills. But guess what? That awkwardness is where possibilities live. When my neat little career plan went sideways, I had two choices: freak out or figure out what comes next. I chose the latter — leaning into the unknown, trying new things (hello, teaching English and blogging!), and learning to trust that I’d figure it out one step at a time.
Try this:
When fear or doubt creep in, remind yourself that uncertainty means opportunity. Try breaking big fears into tiny challenges — tackle one small thing each day and celebrate every win, no matter how small.
Enjoy being in the process of becoming.
— Audre Lorde
3. Finding Your New Path – Ditching the GPS and wandering with purpose
So, after the “what now?” zone turned into a full-blown fog, I started looking for new paths — not the kind with a GPS voice guiding you, but the kind you have to figure out by wandering around a bit. I tried freelancing, dipped my toes into web design, and yep, even house-sitting made an appearance (because, why not?). It wasn’t exactly the glamorous career ladder I imagined, but it was real, messy, and honest.
Try this:
Try exploring different interests without pressure. Take small steps like a weekend course, a freelance gig, or volunteering in an area that sparks your curiosity. Celebrate the detours — they’re part of discovering what fits you best.
4. Anchoring Your Identity – Holding on to what matters most
After trying on all those different hats, I realized something else — I didn’t have to lose myself in the process. Who I was before wasn’t gone; it just had to evolve. Anchoring yourself means holding onto the core values and strengths that define you — even if your job title changes a million times. It’s your personal compass when the outside world feels like a stormy sea.
Try this:
Take time to reflect on your values, strengths, and passions. Write them down. When you’re faced with choices or doubts, check in with that list — does this move align with who you truly are?
The journey is not just about finding yourself, but creating yourself.
— George Bernard Shaw
5. What I Wish I Knew Back Then – Advice from the other side
If I could hop in a time machine and chat with my fresh-out-of-college self, I’d say: “Hey, it’s okay not to have it all figured out. Seriously.”
I wish I knew that career plans don’t have to be set in stone, and sometimes, detours are where the real growth happens. Also, that failure isn’t the enemy — it’s actually the awkward, clumsy friend who shows up uninvited but ends up teaching you some of the best lessons.
Try this:
Give yourself permission to experiment and fail without judgment. Reframe failures as part of the process, not proof you’re off-track.
6. Rebuilding on Your Own Terms – Defining success for yourself
Success is messy and personal. It’s not a one-size-fits-all trophy. After stepping away from my original career path, I realized that I had to define success on my own terms — which sometimes meant celebrating small wins, embracing slow progress, and even just showing up for myself daily.
Try this:
Let your definition of success evolve. Focus less on what it “should” look like and more on what feels true for you.
7. You’re Not Starting Over — You’re Starting Different – Using your story as fuel
Here’s the truth: you’re not starting over, even if it feels like it. You’re starting different. You’re bringing all the lessons, the struggles, the wins, and the wisdom from your old life into this new chapter. Your story is your fuel.
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